I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
