omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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