If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
