i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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