Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Boobs speak an international language.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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