sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
