she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
