so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
