Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
