He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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