Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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