so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
