I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
