Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
