I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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