return my video game
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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