I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Still dying that you shit outside
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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