that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
