I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
