I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
