I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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