Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
