i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I understand Curling. That high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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