For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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