I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
