Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
