Is it normal to miss your booty call?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
