ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
