Porn is love you can see.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
