You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
