My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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