maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
