I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
