If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
honey bunches of taint.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
