Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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