I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
