Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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