I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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