8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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