And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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