Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
