i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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