I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
