I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
