but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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