I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
