i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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