I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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