i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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