Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
