He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
