Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
